A Concerning List.

I graduated Cum Laude from BYU. I am great at trivia. I really consider(ed?) myself a decently intelligent person. But when faced with this overwhelming list of evidence, I have to consider the possibility that I am dumber than a sack of rocks.

I prefer to think of my many lapses in intelligence as “charming idiosyncrasies.”

Things Everyone Has Probably Done Once, But I Have Done Multiple Times

1. Accidentally started pushing someone else’s cart at the grocery store, to the great concern of the cart’s owner.
2. Left a store, with all of my purchases still at the check out. That’s a humbling walk back in.
3. Started getting into the wrong person’s car in the parking lot. Occupants were very worried.
4. Locked my keys in the car. While the car was running. Twice.
5. Closed the garage door on my car as I was backing out of the garage. Don’t tell my husband.
6. Realized after my work out that I was wearing my leggings inside out the entire time.
7. Tried to pay for something and given the cashier my Driver’s License instead of a credit card.
8. Forgotten to pack my toothbrush on a trip, as a full grown adult, more times than I can count. I have purchased so many replacement toothbrushes. I should display them as vacation souvenirs.
9. Put the milk away in the cabinet.
10. Gotten out of the shower with conditioner still in my hair.
11. Looked for my phone, while talking on said phone.
12. On two separate occasions, I have found my husband’s phone and realized he forgot to bring it to work. I text him to tell him. This helpful text reminder arrived to his phone… which he forgot to bring to work. Come on, Amy.
13. Tied up the laces of my shoes and then realized I haven’t put my pants on yet.
14. Looked for my glasses or sunglasses, when they are on my head.
15. Introduced myself to someone I have met multiple times before. The most notable occasion would have to be introducing myself to someone at church, to which they replied, “I know. You do my hair.”